I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
