I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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