Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
