I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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