whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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