If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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