just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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