I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
