so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Let's get the cat blown out
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
