you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Acid is not a monday night drug
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
