May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
