I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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