So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize