And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
