Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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