Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
