ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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