Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying