NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?