Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw