We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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