wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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