and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
