if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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