If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
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