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im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
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