shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.