I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening