At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
