mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
