the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
