I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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