You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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