Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
