I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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