dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
