is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
