I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
