2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
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There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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