Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
