so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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