My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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