my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
there's paper in my vomit.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
