If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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