420 ftw
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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