he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
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He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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