I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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