How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
