I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
