Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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