His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
