How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
