Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
