i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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