Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
