So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
