I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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