Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
