this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
